RUSH: Now, isn't this a kick? The very people who are now criticizing all of the conspiracy theories about the supposed suicide of Jeffrey Epstein are the very people that perpetrated the Russia hoax, the Russia conspiracy! If you want to talk about a phony conspiracy and a phony hoax that everybody on the left and the media and the intelligence community, everybody else was in on, that is it!
And there is a whole lot more evidence that they knew they were participating in a hoax and a conspiracy than there is evidence that Epstein legitimately committed suicide. Well, come on, folks! Does anybody understand what being in jail means? This is a federal prison.
I have read and I have talked to people who've been in these cells. They're eight to nine feet tall. That's how high the ceiling is. There's nothing protruding from the ceiling on which to hang yourself. There's nothing. The sheets on the bed are practically made of paper. They are not made to bear the weight necessary to break somebody's neck, which is what happens to you by hanging. It's not that you suffocate out there. It breaks your neck. Just snaps it. That's what happens.
Now, if Epstein was gonna commit suicide, he had to have assistance. And just coincidentally, there weren't any cameras in there. Aw, damn it. Amazing how that happens. But, folks, there were cameras on the doors. There are cameras in the hallways. There are cameras on the doors. There ought to be video of anybody who went in and out of there in the immediate period before and after Epstein supposedly committed suicide.
They also are delaying the release of the autopsy report pending more information. It just so happens the guards were overworked and understaffed, they were on overtime. I mean, it was a perfect storm of everything that could have gone wrong. I'm tending to think the guy's not dead.
I'm tending to think they got him out of there. He's on a different island now that he bought before all this happened. They've somehow transferred some of his wealth so he has somewhere to live. I mean, if we're gonna create conspiracy theories, let's have at it. Let's just have at it. We've gotten to the point in American society where nobody trusts anything that the government says, except the left.
And everybody doubts this. I mean, Rudy Giuliani's original tweet was filled with disbelief and doubt and "come on," and now Rudy is back, “Oh, wait a minute, now. Let's wait for more information to come through.” The attorney general, Bill Barr, is saying, "Hey, if you are breathing easy, if you were an Epstein coconspirator or anybody involved and you think you can breathe easy now that Epstein's dead, you better think again."
So a message has been sent, if somebody murdered Epstein, a message has been sent to them that they are not off the hook here. How many of you predicted -- I can't tell you the number of people in my circle who predicted Epstein would never see the inside of a courtroom, would never, ever stand trial for this. That he would be dead before that ever happened, that there were too many people who are on the verge of being destroyed if Epstein's facts ever became public. I had people tell me who know about prisons and so forth and know about people, high profile prisoners like this, people told me -- and these are not kooks, by the way.
These are not people who are run conspiracy websites. And they said to me, “Rush, this guy is not safe in that jail in New York and they won't be safe until they get him to a super max somewhere. He's not gonna be safe. If somebody wants to take this guy out, there's gonna be a way to make that happen. It's not that difficult to do. Guards don't make that much money. There's any number of ways. In fact, if Epstein wanted to commit suicide and there's no way to do it by hanging, you can do it with drug overdose, any number of ways that he could pay somebody to assist him to do this.”
If you've got a conspiracy theory that nobody's thought of, I'd love to hear it. I mean, we may as well just have fun with this.
RUSH: My friends, we have a statement from former President Clinton on the death of Jeffrey Epstein.
BEGIN PARODY TRANSCRIPT
ANNOUNCER: Now a message of comfort and condolence to all those who knew Jeffrey Epstein from former President Bill Clinton...
CLINTON: My fellow Americans, let me be the first to say that all Jeffrey was is just a donor and random acquaintance that I accepted a flight or two from -- we really didn't have that much in common -- and that Hillary and I had both hoped that all those woman that said they were underage prostitutes but looked at least 18 at the time would get to testify against him in a court of law. Unfortunately, now he will never be able to corroborate their stories. So, yes, a sad chapter has closed. I only hope each of these women can find peace while knowing that they have come forward publicly, and given facts about what their real name is and where they now reside. Hillary and I both wish them well and encourage them to move forward from this awful moment to a new life of silent reflection and safety. Thank you.
END PARODY TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: Right. So a veiled warning there. President Clinton says, "You women have outed yourselves now. We know who you are and where you live. We hope you'll be able to contemplate your future in silence and in safety. A safety from..." That, by the way (let there be no mistake here) is "white comedian Paul Shanklin" and a Bill Clinton impersonation, lest there be anybody confused. In this day and age, satire and parody are a lost art and a lost talent 'cause nobody can laugh anymore, especially people out on the left.
RUSH: So Attorney General William Barr has just concluded a press conference basically detailing the irregularities and the incompetence and the unbelievable lackadaisical attitude and behavior among the employees at the prison. He said it's simply intolerable, unacceptable. Let me tell you what this means. The government is going to rely on what they know they can rely on: Incompetence. Everybody thinks government can do nothing right, including protect the life of a star witness.
I have to tell you, folks, I have opened the door: Any conspiracy theory you want to play in, think might have been the case, have at it today. But when you get right down to it, the fact that government incompetence may be the explanation is something that cannot be ignored. It just can't be. Particularly when you're talking about bureaucracies. We're getting the excuse now that many of the guards were overworked, that some of them on this shift had put in 80 hours that week, that they were working on overtime.
Now, these facts are being shoveled out to us to explain -- not justify, but to explain -- the incompetence, to explain how the unthinkable could happen. They are relying on people ultimately accepting the idea that government doesn't do much right, or that government screws up, because everybody has experience with it. I'm still struck by the idea that he hung himself. Sorry, hanged. You gotta be very careful when you start using these words.
"Hung" is not the right word for when you want to describe what somebody did to themselves. You want to say "such-and-such hung yesterday." No, don't. That describes something entirely different. Hanged is the correct word here. But in this prison, it's not possible. In any prison! In a high-security place like this, a federal prison, there's nothing in the ceiling to hang yourself from. There aren't any bars on the windows. The beds and the toilet and everything are attached to the wall at basically floor level. It would be seemingly impossible -- unless somebody was in there assisting.
But there was no video inside. There was only video outside. The autopsy results are not in. What could possibly be taking so long? The death happened on Saturday morning at 6:30. It was announced "dead by hanging," "committed suicide." What's taking the autopsy so long? Why does the medical examiner say that he's waiting on other information to be furnished? So now the attorney general -- who has a lot of credibility, a lot of credibility -- goes out and basically describes this as unacceptable. There's gonna be an official investigation into this. And, you know, that's where things go to die: Investigations.
Oftentimes that's where things go to die. That's where people who want to bury something bury it, in an investigation. Which may never end -- which, in fact, may never really begin, and for which there may never be an announcement of its conclusions. But I think back to all of these crazy things that have happened in my lifetime where the government has been involved offering an explanation, and a number of people that refuse to believe it. Like remember TWA Flight 800?
It was just flying from JFK to Paris, and over East Moriches of Long Island the thing just blew up. Speaking of which, Brian Williams was on MSNBC that night, and there was video of debris hitting the ocean. He was actually doing a Don Lemon. He was asking guests, "Could the passengers have survived? Could we be watching some passengers holding onto seat cushions landing in the ocean?" What's the guest supposed to say? The thing blew up at about 12,000 feet! Cameras were sweeping the skies looking for debris, trying to find evidence that there might be something who parachuted!
Parachuted? From a commercial plane?
So people's minds start wandering immediately, and James Kallstrom of the FBI was the head of the New York office of the FBI at the time. He ran the investigation and concluded that because it was a 747, it did not have to fill the fuel tanks for that flight from New York to Paris. It did not require the fuel tanks to be filled. One of the tanks had no fuel in it, just fumes. Something ignited the fumes in a nearly empty fuel tank and bammo! That was it. But you remember all the people who claimed, "Ah, it's not true! I saw a missile!
"Al-Qaeda did it! Terrorists did it! I saw the missile launched. I saw the missile hit the plane." Kallstrom went nuts trying to refute all of these claims that people were making -- and every one of them got a fair-share amount of TV time. There were the people who just refused to believe it. "Airplanes don't just blow up" was the response. "It just doesn't happen." It was in the midst of numerous hijackings and other terrorist activity when TWA 800 blew up. It was not that long after Pan Am 103, whatever it was, was blown up by a terrorist bomb over Lockerbie, Scotland.
So when these things happen, the final conclusion is incompetence on somebody's part. In this case, it was incompetence in the way the airplane was fueled. Nobody should have left a nearly empty fuel tank with nothing but fumes in there. It just should not have happened. There should not have been guards working 80-hour shifts in the Epstein prison corridor, all of this stuff. They're just trying to rely on the fact that there's government incompetence. They're not using those words. That's what you're supposed to conclude.
Maybe a little bit short of incompetence, because the word is that the guards were so overworked, so much overtime going on, that they were not being properly observant of the Epstein cell. He had been on suicide watch and then came off suicide watch. There were stories just two days ago earlier that his attorney said, "Hey, he's in pretty good spirits. He's adapting to prison life here." His attorneys put that out. People buy that stuff. Then two days later, he commits suicide. Why commit suicide if you're just starting to adjust and adapt to prison life? Well, obviously he hasn't had time to adapt to prison life.
There's no way Epstein adapted to prison life. There's no way. Do you know Epstein was meeting with his lawyers 12 hours a day? I guarantee you they were trying to figure ways to get him out of there. Within the legal system, I mean. I don't think Epstein had yet come to the realization that his life was over. But if he had... Given the life he led, if he had suddenly had this realization that where he was, was it -- there was not gonna be anything better, and maybe worse in a super max -- then who knows?
But it's just so convenient that all of the people who could have been identified now probably won't be, meaning people who had visited him to partake in the pedophilia that he was engaging in and offered, 'cause that's what he was. He was a pedophile, folks. The word's not used much. They talk about "underage girls" coming in to do "massages." It was pedophilia going on in there, and a lot of people were aware of it. There was obviously rampant drug use going on inside these places. If you ask me, that blue-striped temple down in the Virgin Islands was where really all of the hot-and-bothered activity was taking place.
This is interesting too. "Jeffrey Epstein's Lawyers Have Hired Criminal Defense Attorneys -- In the wake of Jeffrey Epstein’s death over the weekend, a report says two of the high-flying financier’s longtime lawyers are seeking outside legal counsel of their own. The New York Times reported Sunday that lawyers Jeffrey Schantz and Darren Indyke recently hired criminal defense attorneys to represent them. According to the Times, the pair were 'involved with some of his trusts and other entities in New York and in the Virgin Islands.'
"Court documents show Epstein’s vast fortune is valued at least $559 million." He had to have more than that to be living the way he was. For everything that is being reported about him to be true, he would need a net worth of more than $559 million -- and the strange thing is, nobody can ever remember him working anywhere. Nobody can ever remember him trading stocks. He was supposedly a stock and investment adviser. Nobody can ever point to a single trade that he made for anybody. His ties with the founder of Victoria's Secret, Leslie Wexner, are now widely reported.
Basically Epstein was in effect given the $77 million town house in New York and one of the private jets, was given those things to him by Wexner. All the girls and the lawyers and the household staff and the pilots all lived in the same Epstein-owned building elsewhere in Manhattan so that Epstein could keep an eye on every employee.
You know how much this costs? A, you pay these people, the pilots, whatever, then you have to buy a New York building and keep it up and maintain it. And everybody that works for you lives in this building. Then you have to put in the spy system to keep an eye on them. The girls that are the young pedophile victims, the masseuses, they live in these places too.
The way Epstein was living, the way it is portrayed, there's no way he could have -- I know you think this is, "Rush, you give me $500 million, you watch." That's my point, if his net worth is 500 million, it means that he's not touching that. He's living off whatever that earns. Because I guarantee you the amount of money he's spending buying things -- islands? Constructing things from scratch on islands?
It's inconceivable the amount of money he was spending versus no known source of income for it all. This has given rise to what he was actually running was a gigantic extortion racket. That he had photos and videos of everybody that had come in to avail themselves of his underage women and that he was extorting all of them for all of these years.
Now, when I read that, I said, "That can't be. One of these guys would have taken him out long before this." But if it's an extortion racket, think of the money that would be generating. Look, there are going to be questions about where this guy got his money, when nobody can remember him working other than for this Wexner guy in Ohio, which is the headquarters of the business that houses Victoria's Secret and so forth. But even that guy says that he abandoned Epstein and cut him loose some years ago. Anyway, it just doesn't pass the smell test on any number of levels. I'm talking about just the things that have been reported.
This article originally appeared on Premiere Networks